A Quick Guide to Avoid Head Hopping

CEOLSIGE

Head Hopping: What not to do.

“It’s spelt grey,” said Bertha, slamming her fist down on the restaurant table. “G-R-E-Y.” How was Barnaby dense enough to believe otherwise?

Barnaby looked into Bertha’s beady, unintelligent eyes and seethed. “No, it’s spelled gray. G-R-A-Y.” He felt ready to up and leave her sitting there at the diner.

Close-Third Person: What you can do.

“It’s spelt grey,” said Bertha, slamming her fist down on the table. “G-R-E-Y.” Barnaby was such an uncultured idiot. Why was she even hanging out with him?

Omniscient: What you can also do.

“It’s spelt grey,” said Bertha. “G-R-E-Y.”

She couldn’t wrap her head around how stupid Barnaby was, and he felt the same.

Standing from the table, Barnaby slammed the cash for his meal onto the table. “That’s it; I can’t stand your pretentious spelling habits another moment. I’m going to the theater alone.” He felt…

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Me, Myself, and I

I don’t know if this is the case for all other English speaking countries, but here in the US, kindergartners know how to use “me” properly in a sentence. For example, “Please call me if you need anything.” We continue to use “me” correctly right up until someone, usually a teacher, tells us sometimes “me” … Continue reading Me, Myself, and I

Grammar Pet Peeves

Using “and I” Incorrectly Example: She invited Sarah and I to her party or She invited I and Sarah to her party. It’s one thing when someone uses “and me” when they should have used “and I,” but for some reason misusing “and I” is on a whole new level of obnoxious. It makes me … Continue reading Grammar Pet Peeves

8 Writing Habits of Amateurs

If I wanted to write this blog in the style of a shitty tenth grade academic essay, it might go a little something like this: The topic I am writing about is amateur writing habits. I think that you should state the purpose of your paper clearly from the beginning, or you will look unprofessional. … Continue reading 8 Writing Habits of Amateurs

My Favorite Words

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I love the English language. I love all the inconsistent, infuriating grammar rules. I love how different every word is from another, how they're borrowed from all other languages. I love how words that sound the same mean different things, and how for just about adjective there are … Continue reading My Favorite Words

Mistakes I Used to Make When Writing

When I first started submitting my work to the public for critiques, I made a lot of amateur and completely fixable mistakes. I'm sure I still do, and will someday reflect on my writing from today with embarrassment. Still, I write better now than before I learned not to do the following: Writing Purple Prose Ugh. … Continue reading Mistakes I Used to Make When Writing

3 Ways to Fix Wimpy Writing Now

  Don't write wimpy sentences. People don't read wimpy sentences. And if they do, they don't absorb them. Weak sentences are overlooked, even when they're meant to convey something important. So, in the spirit of instant gratification, here are three easy fixes for some common sentence wimpifiers: 1. Passive Voice Passive voice is boring. It's … Continue reading 3 Ways to Fix Wimpy Writing Now